Mummy lunches, internet clubs and bootcamps. While are all these ideas are theoretically interesting ways to grow my social circle, the big question is – How effective are these approaches? So here are the facts and the analysis.
My July idea was simple and direct. Approach a mom who I see everyday at school and find interesting, whose child gets along with V. The choice was pretty simple to make, the tough part was approaching her. We were on what is commonly called “Hi, Bye” terms – You see each other, exchange a smile, the kids greet each other, you hug your child and send her in, wish each other and head off individually to start your day. Plus all the meetings are in a noisy crowd of three year olds, where you can barely hear yourself and I was very rusty on the “Hi, will you like to get a cup of coffee” line. So I chose to go the facebook route. She responded after a nerve-wracking 24 hours. We scheduled a few times and cancelled (both of us had too many family commitments). Three weeks later we got together with 2 other moms and had a boozy lunch (reason: to plan future play dates). Well, now this fun mom is moving to a different city and though she’ll keep visiting it just isn’t the same. I did meet two other moms through her, and though we will get together occasionally, I just don’t have the same vibe with them. So does this not count as a success in my search? Do I let this friendship drop to one of those facebook things or should I keep track of her visits and schedule dates?
August was my most daring approach (in my regulated world), where I joined an online mom’s group (a child is good leverage in the girlfriend search). I can’t really make their play dates, it’s during my work hours, however, quite a few of them are interested in child-free meet-ups. We did a movie recently and had a blast, since the movie sucked we made snide remarks the whole way through. These are girls I would like to meet for a light-hearted afternoon of fun, however, except for one woman (who I neeed to get to know better), I don’t see serious girlfriend potential. You know the type of girl who gets you instantly, who you can chat to for hours or ask to join you, on a whim, at an exhibition to check out costume jewellery.
September was my best move yet, simply because I had a dual purpose, fitness and advancing my search. I joined a bootcamp, run by the husband of a childhood friend. This move yielded real results. I got in touch with my old friend and meet a group of really cool fun women, a couple of whom I really feel a connect with, even though we haven’t met outside of the fitness arena. I see real potential here and have my fingers crossed. The big plus here is we have bonded despite knowing each other’s physical imperfections, to an extent, which for me is huge when it comes to girlfriendships (not a real word).
While I already have plans for November (literary connect here) and December (travel-based and old school friend related), October had me stumped. As I struggled and hemmed and hawed, the solution was presented to me on a platter and may actually be the most fruitful of all my efforts. Stay-tuned as all is reveled next week.
In the meanwhile, let me know if you have any more ideas for the other 6 months, January to June 2012. Would you have done any of the above differently?