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Shout It Out

05 Feb

You know what I hate about being an adult? I mean apart from the fact that I’m an adult and have to shoulder Atlas type loads of responsibility and would gladly go off to school, given a choice, leaving all said loads behind. Okay, as usual I digress and will forcibly drag myself back to the topic on hand.

I hate the fact that as an adult it’s NOT ACCEPTABLE TO EXPRESS DISAPPOINTMENT IN A SATISFYING MANNER. As you can see I am fairly frustrated with a lack of avenues to really blow my top. I agree that everybody has to face their fair share of disappointments in life, and this includes children as well. My problem here is not with being disappointed. (Of course it is, who am I fooling. What I mean to say is it’s not the only problem.) I have a problem with the fact that we are expected to face facts, accept that things have not gone the way we planned, maybe come up with an alternative solution and then walk away calmly, probably with a set of key takeaways (talk about rubbing salt into a wound).

Why, I ask, can’t we express ourselves like children when disappointed. With maybe a tantrum or denial or a good old sulk or even a bout of healing tears; and then forget about it (or at least some of it). Actually come to think of it, it’s not acceptable today, even for kids to express themselves this way. But what the heck they still do, so I’m sticking to my guns here.

On this blog, I’ve spoken about all the efforts I’m taking to create the life I want, but I want to be honest too. The previous year, the previous month and even the previous day (and today, for the record) have presented me with a string of disappointments. Disappointments that I’m obviously not accepting so easily and am fighting against like mad, however, a good show of how disappointed I am would really go along way in easing my stress and frustration. Failures are the stepping tone to success, if you don’t die of stress induced diseases first.

Bottom line,  I want to be free to let people know that I don’t feel like smiling and actually want to throw something or shout the house down (though obviously not in general public).

How do you deal with disappointment as an adult? What would you suggest for an overloaded girlfriend here?

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20 Comments

Posted by on February 5, 2012 in The Real Me

 

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20 responses to “Shout It Out

  1. speedsere

    February 13, 2012 at 4:51 am

    hiya love! I’ve sadly quit blogging as of maybe 6-8 months…As you know I am focusing on the mums group and a little here and there stuff, which I hope to catch up you up with when we get a chance to meet/chat one on one….
    PS I’ve not logged into my own blogger a/c for eons now…err…

     
    • nmaha

      February 13, 2012 at 7:22 pm

      I have a confession to make, I just realized this is you D. I don’t know why I was confused 🙂 Sorry.

       
  2. Chindi Chitranna

    February 9, 2012 at 7:39 pm

    I just don’t get the whole “Shit happens, grow up” thing. Shit happening does not always mean that I should be okay with it happening to me. Previous generations were probably conditioned into suppressing these things, as if they’d make them go away. But now, I think we’re learning to express our feelings rather than just denying they exist. It helps a lot of the time to tell someone – makes the disappointment feel a lot less intense 🙂 I;m guessing writing about it has helped you too!

     
    • nmaha

      February 10, 2012 at 5:50 pm

      Chindi, I think you have a point there, sharing does made your burden feel lighter 🙂

       
      • nmaha

        February 10, 2012 at 5:53 pm

        How do I get to your blog?

         
  3. Megan, The Frugalista Diaries

    February 7, 2012 at 3:47 am

    So true! we really should be able to feel free to express ourselves when needed!

     
    • nmaha

      February 7, 2012 at 9:31 pm

      Spot on Megan. Self expression is not just a creative outlet, it’s also a need. I just confused myself with that little bit of wisdom 🙂

       
  4. Purba

    February 7, 2012 at 1:38 am

    Ahh… cribbing is the best coping strategy. But we should know when to stop and not come out looking like a martyr every time 🙂

     
    • nmaha

      February 7, 2012 at 9:30 pm

      Purba, so nice of you to come visit. Yes, cribbing in small doses, with the right people, can be a stress buster.

       
  5. Anita Nandini

    February 6, 2012 at 9:17 pm

    Well Said Buddy, at times we adults we also set very high standards for ourselves , as to what is accepted and what is not . There are possibly times when we do need to act immature , but tell ourselves to act mature ( coz its the done thing , its what is accepted, its not setting a good role model etc ). Bt sometimes I guess, it’s ok to say “to hell with it ” and not punish one self with standards and be what or do what ever one feels like !

     
    • nmaha

      February 7, 2012 at 9:27 pm

      I know! Sometimes you just want to behave like your three year old and then forget about it 🙂 I guess our problem is worrying about what people around us will think.

       
  6. Ranjani

    February 6, 2012 at 9:15 pm

    Couldn’t have been better timing for me to read this post. I always feel like we’re trying to overcompensate being an adult and sometimes don’t end up really “feeling” our feelings 🙂 After a series of disappointments, I’m finally gonna be back in India soon. I’m very excited about the move back, but that doesn’t take away the disappointment or lessen it.

    Your writing=word! Awesome 🙂

     
    • nmaha

      February 7, 2012 at 9:26 pm

      Ranju, it’s so great to see you here. You’re spot on about the ‘feeling our feelings’ part. Thank you for the sweet compliment and I can’t wait to catch-up once you are back for good. I can guess at the bittersweet thing you must be going through now 🙂 Feel free to call and rant any time 🙂

       
  7. Richa

    February 6, 2012 at 5:48 pm

    What a moving post, N. If it makes you feel any better, I chanced upon your blog on Friday, and have been reading your posts all weekend. Considering you are just about the same age as me, you are managing and *achieving* quite a lot. As mere mortals like us struggle to manage a toddler and hold down a job, you are out there running your own enterprise- enough to make many shiver in boots even without a toddler. Thumbs up, and chin up! This two shall pass. And yes- I would not mind having a role-model like you. 🙂

     
    • nmaha

      February 6, 2012 at 6:52 pm

      Hi Richa, first off I need to tell you that I’m super flattered with the ‘reading all weekend part’. Second, you are welcome to visit me anytime, here, at home, where ever, since you seem to be giving my battered morale a huge boost 🙂

      Btw, do you have a blog? If yes, can you share the link, I would love to read it.

       
  8. Sanjana

    February 5, 2012 at 10:30 pm

    oh, and blogging helps too! 🙂

     
  9. Sanjana

    February 5, 2012 at 10:30 pm

    aww! *hugs*

    Call a friend (you have my number don’t you?). Rant. Cry. Release the stress. Then have some dark chocolate and give yourself some time. You’re an adult, sure. But that doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to express emotions. If you don’t… the stress will kill you! And you can’t die just yet! You’ve so much to do! 🙂

     
    • nmaha

      February 6, 2012 at 6:32 pm

      Sanju, you’re going to get a call this weekend after I finish my trail run. Dark chocolate and blogging really do help, coz I have no intention of dying before I enjoy everything life has to offer (or not) 🙂

       
  10. speedsere

    February 5, 2012 at 5:45 am

    Thanks for sharing your your real feelings N. To me being validated matters upto a certain point and by certain people. Of course, we don’t always get what we want and you know life isn’t supposed to be perfect and the people who say “I told you so” aren’t perfect either. I am beginning to digress a little too, but there is something to be said about getting closure, which I think is also important, however, I think we pick and choose our battles…and then there is something to be said about perspective. Finally, when one does feel disappointed, IMHO, I don’t think it is healthy to suppres or deny such feelings/emotions, else they only manifest into some other issues…We have to allow ourselves enough space be ourselves..and then finally shift perspective to what is going well. Easier said than done…hah! I know that for me it is ok to be a work in progress, I’m not even close to perfect, *allow* 🙂 Hug

     
    • nmaha

      February 6, 2012 at 6:31 pm

      Speedsere, thanks for the positive reinforcement and the hug. You are right about the suppressing bit. I’m going to shout it out the next time I feel let down or frustrated.
      Btw, how do I read your blog? Can you give me the link/url?

       

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