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Winning Against Ourselves – Mind Games

V comes up to me this morning and starts talking about school.

“Mommy I’m really getting fast at running, I ran past S and K when we had games period yesterday.”

“That’s great V but isn’t the running part more fun than the running past other children part?”

“Yup, I love running with you in the park mommy, and we run together. So, I loooooooove running. It’s almost like flying a bit. But mommy I can’t go faster than the boys you know. That’s okay coz A (my nephew) told me that boys are stronger than girls.”

That put me in a dilemma, I didn’t want to encourage competitiveness in a child not yet 5 years old, but I also didn’t want to leave her with the weaker gender idea. That’s when I had a half-formed brain wave.

“V do you know far we run together at the park?”

“Yup 3 rounds?”

“Right and that’s one and a half kilometers darling. I’m sure no one in your class, boy or girl, runs that long and far.”

“I don’t know mommy. Their mommies don’t take them running so how will they know?”

Okay…… that was the second spanner in my works. Still, I decided to gamely plough on.

“Right, darling but here’s my point. See we are both girls and we are doing something nobody else in your class is doing, boy or girl. It doesn’t matter who’s stronger or weaker. All that we need to think about is this. Do we really want to do something? If we do, we keep doing it and enjoying it. After a while we will become the best at it. So the next time A or anyone else tells you that someone is stronger or weaker, tell them this. ‘The person who really wants to do something and enjoys it, is stronger and the person who doesn’t is weaker.'”

I don’t know if I got through to her this time or if the the idea was too convoluted. However, I’m making a promise on this Women’s Day to keep reminding myself, my daughter and my nieces that we can be and achieve whatever we want as long as we really want it and enjoy it. Gender is just a category like hair colour or height, it can’t affect who we are and what we choose to become. Yes, we’ll have a lot of battles to fight as women, but let’s win the one in our minds first. 

P.S. – Funnily my first ever post on this blog was on gender discrimination 🙂

P.P.S – It doesn’t matter if your little girl chooses to play a princess game or climb a tree. As long as she is confident in herself as an individual, she will make the right choices for herself.

P.P.P.S – Wow! I just realised (when I went to get the link to my first article) that today is this blog’s two year anniversary! I somehow missed the first one! Yay! Happy Anniversary to me.

Update: A couple of days back I found a new trophy in V’s prayer basket. She apparently won the girls running race for her LKG batch. That’s like first among 60 kids, I’m guessing the boy- girl ration is 50-50. Now I know where that boys being faster/stronger than girls discussion came from. It’s the school making them compete separately. She never mentioned winning and she just shrugged when I asked her about it!

Photo Credit: Image 1

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What Women Want

The reason I started this new blog is to link with women from all walks of life and at all ages.  I want to create a network of career women, SAHMs, working mothers, students, grandmothers, professionals, retirees…..the list just goes on.

Despite a clear intent, I seem to keep losing myself when it comes to post content, since I can’t decide whether a particular topic fits in with this blog or not. To resolve this confusion I’ve been trying to figure out the common factors that link women across the globe and across demographics. After a few months of thinking (that’s why I was so irregular with my blogging, I was busy with mind gymnastics) and extensively reading blogs by other women (and some blogs about women written by men), this is what I’ve come up with.

WHAT WOMEN NEED, WANT AND TALK ABOUT  (wonder what the men would think of this analysis):

  • Current Affairs – Yes, women are interested and tuned into the world around them. It’s their take on it that tends to be a bit different
  • Culture – Broadly covering travel, reading and the arts. Look around and see how many bloggers form online book clubs or culture clubs
  • Clothes – Not all of us are fashionistas (in fact surprisingly few of us are), however, most of us strive to look presentable even if we are just popping out for brunch, unlike most men (sorry the gender thing was too true to be avoided here)
  • Work – In today’s world all of us have a set of goals to achieve and this defines the work we do. It maybe a career in the traditional sense or a creative out of home business. Some of us even home-school our kids (which is frankly the toughest job ever, in my opinion). At the end of the day, we all want to look forwards to our weekdays and not just the weekends and having a job and a work environment that adds value does this
  • Family and Friends – Most women mention their families or friends in at least 25% of their posts (this is just a rough statistic, I don’t have the paper work to back it up). Mothers, fathers (the daddy’s princess thing seems to be true), best friends, children, husbands, work friends
  • The Social Circle – For most guys this means flopping on a couch with your best friends and watching sport. Women will most probably make it an intimate gathering for eight with wine, nibbles and a special projector system to watch the match of the hour. We rely on our social circle to de-stress and yes, we love gossip (non-malicious, obviously). Why do you think we go on play dates
  • The Dream – This could be anything and will most probably be cherished and shared with a chosen few, at least till it’s achieved. I know you all have a secret one (we’ll discuss this in another post)

So this is what my posts are going to cover, maybe not all of it, but definitely most of it. I’ll try and focus on creating a harmonious whole from the supposedly conflicting personal and professional areas of my life. Wish me luck.

Your Thoughts:

Did I get the list right? Would you be interested in reading and discussing the above? Most importantly, will you hang out with me? I’m a shameless friend groupie.

 
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Posted by on May 7, 2011 in Blogs and blogging, Defining Me

 

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