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Winning Against Ourselves – Mind Games

V comes up to me this morning and starts talking about school.

“Mommy I’m really getting fast at running, I ran past S and K when we had games period yesterday.”

“That’s great V but isn’t the running part more fun than the running past other children part?”

“Yup, I love running with you in the park mommy, and we run together. So, I loooooooove running. It’s almost like flying a bit. But mommy I can’t go faster than the boys you know. That’s okay coz A (my nephew) told me that boys are stronger than girls.”

That put me in a dilemma, I didn’t want to encourage competitiveness in a child not yet 5 years old, but I also didn’t want to leave her with the weaker gender idea. That’s when I had a half-formed brain wave.

“V do you know far we run together at the park?”

“Yup 3 rounds?”

“Right and that’s one and a half kilometers darling. I’m sure no one in your class, boy or girl, runs that long and far.”

“I don’t know mommy. Their mommies don’t take them running so how will they know?”

Okay…… that was the second spanner in my works. Still, I decided to gamely plough on.

“Right, darling but here’s my point. See we are both girls and we are doing something nobody else in your class is doing, boy or girl. It doesn’t matter who’s stronger or weaker. All that we need to think about is this. Do we really want to do something? If we do, we keep doing it and enjoying it. After a while we will become the best at it. So the next time A or anyone else tells you that someone is stronger or weaker, tell them this. ‘The person who really wants to do something and enjoys it, is stronger and the person who doesn’t is weaker.'”

I don’t know if I got through to her this time or if the the idea was too convoluted. However, I’m making a promise on this Women’s Day to keep reminding myself, my daughter and my nieces that we can be and achieve whatever we want as long as we really want it and enjoy it. Gender is just a category like hair colour or height, it can’t affect who we are and what we choose to become. Yes, we’ll have a lot of battles to fight as women, but let’s win the one in our minds first. 

P.S. – Funnily my first ever post on this blog was on gender discrimination 🙂

P.P.S – It doesn’t matter if your little girl chooses to play a princess game or climb a tree. As long as she is confident in herself as an individual, she will make the right choices for herself.

P.P.P.S – Wow! I just realised (when I went to get the link to my first article) that today is this blog’s two year anniversary! I somehow missed the first one! Yay! Happy Anniversary to me.

Update: A couple of days back I found a new trophy in V’s prayer basket. She apparently won the girls running race for her LKG batch. That’s like first among 60 kids, I’m guessing the boy- girl ration is 50-50. Now I know where that boys being faster/stronger than girls discussion came from. It’s the school making them compete separately. She never mentioned winning and she just shrugged when I asked her about it!

Photo Credit: Image 1

 

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Everyday’s a Party

My mind has been overloaded and cluttered these past few months. There have been energizing brain storming sessions,  tedious but necessary mid-year number crunching analysis, constant conference calling with girlfriends for a project we are working hard on (this is our new venture on the side), failed attempts to re-write a storyline and continuous planning in order to make every week memorable for V (the techie and I have wowed not to sail through her childhood like zombies).

I have valued, if not enjoyed, every moment because each situation has come from my own choosing, however, the brain does tend to get over-simulated and then what?! Headaches due to lack of sleep and over thinking, constant pre-occupation and an host of other stuff that just creeps up on you. So what’s a girl to do when things get too much but you don’t want to actually slow-down because you can’t miss a moment (I mean the festive season’s here and things are just going to get more fun and hectic)? Well, I don’t know about most girls but here’s what I do, have a closet spring clean. Yes, the techie dreads this method of relaxation but he participates in good spirit because of the benefits of a happy me post the exercise.

V woke us up at 6 am this Sunday. We had freshened-up, had our morning poison (regular milk for V, coffee for the techie and fresh juice for me) and got onto the task by 6.30 am. The techie setup a superb song list of olden goldies, V donned her winter gloves to help with the wiping and I started tossing stuff out of the cupboard.

The next three hours flew by, with old clothes fights (almost like a pillow fight but much messier), colour coordination, slow dancing (our two songs were on the list and we could not not dance) and V wearing all my jewellery and asking us to call her ‘Your Royal Highness’ while jumping on her trampoline. By 9.30 am we were done. We quickly showered and headed down for a huge breakfast, with a bag of stuff for the local old people home, and a day packed with events.

The outcome? All I need to do is open the doors to my organized, colourful and blingy (I love shiny stuff) wardrobe and I get a high. The techie has got a lot of extra points for being the good husband and is making the most of it, while V thinks closet cleaning is a great way to spend a Sunday morning. Plus we had breakfast with royalty and a mini prom dance.

What do you do to reset an overcrowded mind?

Photo Credit: Image 1Image 2, Image 3

 
 

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Another 12 Months of Opportunity

Happy New Year everyone. Hope you had a lovely time with friends and family and have made lists of all the dreams you want to realise this year.

I’ve started this post about ten times since the 30th of December 2011, but nothing seems to sound right, so I’m just going with the flow. After all, if you can’t be yourself on your blog and with your friends, where can you. So here goes.

V has given me a thought that I’m going to adhere to this year. It may be a case of oversimplification, but it seems to make things easier, in most cases. “If everyday is everybody’s birthday, then we’ll all always be happy.” So here’s my thought (not original in itself, but the derivation is unique) – LIVE EACH DAY LIKE IT”S YOUR BIRTHDAY. Isn’t that an amazing way to approach life? It makes me want to bounce out of bed in the mornings, with a big smile on my face and a heart full of excitement.

This very week I’m going to start working on my book again and hopefully, I’ll get round to finding a decent agent, as well as, move on from the first rough draft. If any of you have tips on writing and getting a book published, please do share, I need all the guidance I can get. I have this, and my previous blog, to thank for actually getting me on track with writing. I’ll tell you the whole story in my next post.

From today I have also gotten back on my healthy living bandwagon, after two weeks of total abandon (read – partying, eating, drinking, late nights and lots more). I don’t intend to deny myself any of the pleasures of life, but I will do everything in moderation, in order to ensure that I can do it for as long as I live.

The techie and I are going to work extra hard to bring our company to where we want it to be, however, unlike the last two years, we are also going to consciously give our marriage more attention. ‘We’ deserves to be one of the firsts in our life, not a poor third after V and the business. I know for sure that this year will be a turning point in a lot of ways for us, all we have to do is seize every opportunity that comes our way.

Most importantly, I plan to be a more laidback mom, so that I can enjoy watching my baby grow-up. I need to loosen-up and the benefits for my family, and myself, are going to be multi-fold.

That’s it folks, my short take on how I intend to enjoy all that 2012 has to offer. No resolutions but lots of dreams.

Here’s to another year of sharing and learning. Yay!

P.S. – I kicked off the New Year with a short and pretty edgy hair cut. I haven’t gone this short since the year I got married. A real new beginning.

 
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Posted by on January 2, 2012 in The Real Me

 

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